I decided to keep my head down for a week. I think I just needed to get my head out of the feminist blogosphere for a bit. And instead I ended up defending myself on the BDSM forums. Why do I fear this is likely to be a trend? Hussle and tussle from one side or the other? I started wondering whether feminism is really compatible with SM activism. And then I thought: hang on, acceptance of our sexual practices relies a lot on society allowing women the right to make informed choices it doesn't like without portraying us as victims, saying we can't consent, etcetera. It's important to have feminist activists in there; it's just tricky for us to get on with people who do dislike women, or talk down to us because we are women, or, especially, talk down to us because we are submissive-identified women. But unless you alienate the feminists, what can you do? I suggested a while back that 'other solutions' in response to the extreme porn censorship legislation might be an important part of our campaign. But was told I was smearing wider collective efforts with my own agenda. Well, whatever. Personally, I still can't help but feel an MRA-centric campaign is not likely to be effective when the reasons originally cited in the Longhurst petition were to prevent violence against women. Not that this could be helped.
Given the quoting out of context taster this blog already had, it's time to set out a few rules and guidelines for reading burn the witches, especially for the kinky folks who've taken time out to read (thanks). In the words of a namesake:
"Now let's get things nice and sparkling clear..."
1. This is a feminist blog. Despite my involvement with the BDSM community, and the fact that you may have found this post through a BDSM community, this is a feminist blog. You may have a problem with all feminists. If so, we're probably not going to get along.
2. If you have found this blog through the BDSM community, it's likely I'll write some things you won't agree with. I may write some things you thoroughly dislike. I am not anti-BDSM. I am not anti any behaviour between consenting adults. I am, however, against sexism and against misogyny. Unfortunately, I have come across some sexists and some woman-haters in my BDSM travels. Even some abusers. If you are none of these things, you have no reason to think I am talking about you. I do, however, take issue with many of the perceptions of women, particularly, in the BDSM community from the world outside it. If this blog in any way changes someone's perception of female subs, or female dommes, or informs someone that we aren't victims, abusers, brainwashed or have Stockholm Syndrome, that what we do is an informed choice, well, it's a good use of my time.
3. Don't quote me out of context. If you have an issue with something I've said on this blog, I'd really prefer you take the issue up with me here, in context, or in private. I don't want to censor comments, even the anonymous ones.
4. This blog is not solely about BDSM, honest!
5. Respectful dissent is always welcome. Personal attacks on me or other commentators are not.
Time to get on and set up SM-feminist properly...